4.22.2011

The Post About Good Friday Mix-A-Lot


"The cross was two pieces of dead wood; and a helpless, unresisting Man was nailed to it; yet it was mightier than the world, and triumphed, and will ever triumph over it."
Augustus William Hare

As Holy Week wraps, I'm reminded of what it represents. 

It's not just the death of Christ, but the death of my guilt. My hopelessness. My loneliness. My fear.

It's not that I don't feel these things. I sometimes mail engraved invitations to those very emotions and let them camp out in my front yard. 

No worse squatters can be found.

But their stay is always short-lived. I have access to the best eviction service - Jesus.

I hope you have access too. Everyone can.

needtobreathe - Garden

Nichole Nordeman - Crimson

David Crowder Band - Never Let Go

Joy Williams - Beautiful Redemption

Hillsong United - Aftermath

Bethany Dillon - You Are On Our Side

4.21.2011

The Post About Taco Bell Judgment

Muffin Top Sauce
I now consider these equal to fortune cookies in terms of their insight.

My "midsection" is actually 28% mexican food, so who's really to blame here?

White Wedding Sauce

I think this may be a reference to my wedding day.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

{images: Jamie}

4.20.2011

The Post About The Least Sexy Bustier

My co-worker, in her 2nd trimester, discovered this delightful nugget while browsing for her baby registry.

It's the Medela Easy Expression Bustier which can be purchased in various sizes for only $33.99 at Toys R Us.

Umm...okay.

Let's review my primary concerns:
1. I understand wanting to dial up a friend and catch up after you've spent most of your days focused on things like tummy time. But must you multitask in this way? To my mommy friends who might find themselves in this scenario - when I call and ask "What are you doing?" please consider it a rhetorical question.

2. Notice she has pumped equal amounts of milk in each bottle. Most women don't have symmetrical breasts, so I find this visual proposal difficult to swallow. Pun intended.

3. This DOES prove my assertion that breastfeeding is the best way to lose weight. Look at her abs. However, you probably have to wear this all day to get those types of results.

And to answer your question...yes, it's now my gift of choice for all expectant moms. 

And for friends of child-bearing age who are struggling to lose that last 10.

{image: Toys R Us}

4.15.2011

The Post About Why a Blackberry and iPhone Can't Be Friends

L1030954Text conversation with my friend Caryann after 11pm one night this week. It began when I heard the cheesiest song ever on the radio. I wanted to blame her since she works for a record label. 

The song and artist names have been changed to protect the non-enemy of the Cross.

Me: "Name of song" by "John Doe" is worst Christian song ever. That includes all of Stryper's catalog.

Caryann: That's a bold statement. You haven't heard all of "John Doe's" songs.

Me: Touché.

Caryann: Ummm...what? 

Me: Sound it out. You can do it.

Caryann: I don't know what you mean?

Me: Touché is a COMMON term meaning "good point." It was a compliment you loser.

Caryann: If you mean touche, I've never seen it written that way. I didn't know.

Me: It's French. And you just wrote it the exact same way without an accent mark. Do I need to call 911? Are you seeing spots?

Caryann: Well that explains why I couldn't figure out what you meant. It says the word "touch" with a period & then a question mark.

Me: Your Blackberry is stupid. And racist. Viva la iPhone.

Me: P.S. This is going in the blog. 

Caryann was kind enough to post the following on Twitter in the middle of this conversation:  

texts from a friend making no sense. I can't tell her if it's that her iPhone auto-correct strikes again, or she's a wee bit tipsy. 

Mom - I was not tipsy. 

{image: penmanila}

4.13.2011

The Post About The Benefits of a Broken Window

I'm writing this while at lunch in Starbucks trying to figure out where a slice of cinnamon swirl coffee cake falls on the food pyramid. I'm lodged between a gal writing a paper and a professional couple who I'm fairly certain are conducting an illicit affair. That assumption is based on the 20-year age difference, the way she is dressed, his out-of-his-league hair & tie and the conversation on which I'm eavesdropping. Yowzers. Aren't these sort of things supposed to happen in roadside motels or the sporting goods aisle at Target?

Moving on.

I'm enduring something in my daily life I think would help you, so I wanted to disclose so we can all grow.
My car window won't roll down.

My Nissan is 11 years old, but gets the job done like a baby boomer union worker on the front line. Tough and persevering. 

The driver's side window got fussy a year ago - it would roll down, but not up. Since the repair would cut in on my makeup budget, I simply tried to remember to not roll it down. Since I didn't write a post-it telling me that, I kept finding myself leaving a drive-thru screaming "BLASTED" as I drove away with my black taco or deposit slip. 

I asked my Dad (the-man-in-my-life) to fix it. He always stares at me disbelieving when I make these random requests. My response is always the same: 

"Either spend your retirement learning new skills or find me a husband." 

After a minor electrical shock, which was probably a healthy reboot for his 64-year-old heart, the window was back up. This time, I incorporated a permanent reminder by removing the operating button.

So how has this impacted my life in the most glorious ways? 

1. I've lost weight. I'm not that person who'll pick up a fast food order by reaching out from the backseat window or open my door. My humiliation would be double since there's already the thing about value sizing something with the word "monster" or "trucker" in the name. And apparently I'm too lazy to park and walk 25 feet.

2. I've gone paperless. The bank is out. Remember what I said about the humiliation in #1? I'm confident the teller is already judging me for my regular $1.39 payments to Texaco for SweetTarts and the lack of regular payments to the gas company. Note: if you owe me money, I now only accept cash or Paypal. 

Downside? You know when a friend pulls up beside you to chat and makes a hand motion like they're rolling down the window in a car from 1981? I just shrug with sad eyes and point at my wrist as if I'm too busy to stop. 

I'm willing to sacrifice relationships to keep my mascara line item intact.

4.10.2011

The Post About Amazon Bounty Winner

Wrought Iron Fence
Practiced my pricey photography hobby this weekend at a Civil War cemetery in Franklin, TN. I captured this shot of a fence.  

Riveting, right?

Feel free to gander at the other even less exciting photos I took around Nashville. There aren't many since I was stuffing my face most of the trip and I didn't want to get cupcake crumbs or bacon grease on my adorable camera strap cover

As for your hobbies as confessed in my Amazon Giveaway - many of us are kindred spirits: 
(except for the gardeners who I'd just like to hire to spend time with me...)
#1 Reading
#2 Gardening
#3 Photography
#4 Sewing, Crochet, Knitting, Embrodiery
#5 Cooking
#6 Baking (I separated this from cooking, because I can bake but can't come close to cooking)
#7 Crafting, Jewelry Making
#8 Working Out, Running, Biking, Hiking
#9 Scrapbooking
#10 Writing
Must-Mentions: Carving deer antlers, knife & tomahawk throwing, making mini food for dollhouses. We all would be fast friends.

Winner = Alli - "I like to shop with a purpose (like a friend's B'day!) TJ Maxx, Ross, etc..."

Congrats Alli! Email me at jamiesrabbits@gmail.com to collect your bounty.

{Image: Jamie}

4.08.2011

The Post About Jane Austen Winning a Birthday Prize

I am 35 years old.

See how easy that was. Who even remembers why I had that pesky breakdown 5 months ago?

Caryann remembers. Today, she joins me smack dab in the middle of the 30's. And she claims my devastation was a mere hair out of place compared to her own train wreck of advancing age.

Which is unfortunate since I've never met anyone who takes birthdays as seriously as Caryann. Not her own as much as others. If your birthday coincides with her presence in your life, then you'll feel loved and honored and emotionally high-fived for 24 hours straight.

This past November, she gifted me with the one of my top 5 presents of all time:

Jane Austen Action Figure
It would be one of those things I grab as I run out of my burning house. In addition to my duvet and DVR and mascara.

One must be prepared for dreamy firemen.

Birthday Note from Caryann

She also bared her soul. Not the soul that's sarcastic and pushy about my spending habits, but the one that's the kind of friend God really knocked out of the park.

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. Proverbs 17:17

She's that friend. And that brother.

{images: Jamie}

Note: Only 2 more days to enter to win a bunch of Amazon cash. If you're Mark Zuckerberg, then "a bunch" is really relative.

4.07.2011

The Post About a Malihini in Hawaii

O'ahu, Hawaii
Girlfriends planning a trip to Hawaii.

It would be a breeze if we weren't so different.

Beth: Easiest traveler ever. Worked overseas for a season and still hits the road regularly for her current job. Loves to meet new people and occasionally will adopt an accent based on your country of origin.

Allison: Photographer who loves to hop a plane and find the sun so she can worship it in all its glory. She'll always offer to take a stranger's camera to snap a pic so no one's left out of the shot. She's not afraid to ditch her friends to find a sale. Always leaves room for wine in her luggage.

Caryann: Promotions director for a record label who jets off almost weekly for work. She is the ultimate in low maintenance and is generally a great travel companion because of it. 

She is my vacation nemesis.

You see, Caryann is not pro-plan. She embraces the spontaneity of life and craves the adventure of never knowing what's going to happen next.

That is ridiculous.

There should be color-coded folders with data aggregated from Yelp and TripAdvisor and Urban Spoon. Timelines and lists and local transportation maps downloaded to your phone. A gathering of promo codes and Groupons and various medications to ease the transition across time zones. There should be a plan.

So EVERY time Caryann and I travel together, we find ourselves at odds. Her with no boarding pass and me with no room for error.

Exhibit A Today's Facebook exchange after I suggested we all purchase a Groupon for 50% off surfing lessons in Honolulu:

Caryann: There is nothing in me that wants to be in the ocean w/ fish touching me.

Me: That is why I love that we keep going on ocean trips. The logic of it.

So help us out. What are your recommendations for us as we visit Oahu, Hawaii? What should we see, avoid, eat, try? Or better yet, where are you headed on your next vacation - I'd love ideas for the next trip...

Malihini means "newcomer or stranger to Hawaii."

{image: Jamie}

4.05.2011

The Post About An April Fool's Pregnancy

Pregnancy Test
On April Fool's Day, I suggested that my coworker in her 2nd trimester take a pregnancy test for me. I'd tuck the completed test back in its box and head north to my parents' house.

I would be distraught. I would grab a hand in anxiety. I would ask for prayer as I "take" the test.

Then..."just kidding." We'd all laugh and my Mom would then nurture me with food.

I posed this scenario to my world of twitter and asked: 
Will my sweet hypertensive southern baptist mom find it funny? 

Unanimous consensus: No.

The best response came from a woman who knows us both. She knows my mother is lovely and trusting, yet insightful. She knows I am sneaky and crooked, yet believable.

Her response:
If you tell your mom that you're pregnant, she'll assume the baby is Jesus. Ergo, she won't be mad. Because who doesn't want to be The Messiah's GiGi.?

Yes, I just embroidered that on an apron.

{image: kygp

Don't Forget to Confess Your Hobby: $30 Amazon Gift Card Giveaway.

4.04.2011

The Post About $30 Amazon Hobby Giveaway

Marigold Window Boxes
Some people love to garden and dote on their yard as a hobby. Those folks are so high in the sky right now that you can't be around them without hearing them spout off terms like "acidity" or "self-propelled" or "marijuana." 

Above is the extent of my "gardening." Those marigolds will be dead in a week if it doesn't keep raining. That's why I took a picture so I could stick it on the fridge as a fond memory of my green thumb.

The picture-taking is my actual hobby. I do not recommend picture-taking.

Oh sure, it was fun to buy my first DSLR camera. But that one purchase led to an unhealthy obsession with bags and straps and filters and tripods and software and flashes. 

And God forgive me for the idol in my life that is lenses.

 
Isn't she pretty? 

Well...she a gold digga. For what she costs, I could give almost 50 people access to clean water or buy 400 boxes of Cheez-its. For the hungry...of course.

So what about you? What are your hobbies? 

As an incentive for your confession, I'm giving away a $30 Amazon Gift Card.

How To Enter:

Leave a comment answering the question:

What's one of your hobbies?

**2 Extra Credit Entries**

Each of the following will give you one extra entry in the giveaway. Please make sure to leave a separate comment for each thing you do!


1. "Like" Jamie's Rabbits on
Facebook.

2. Follow Jamie's Rabbits on
Twitter.

**You can accomplish both of these tasks by clicking on the links.**


Important Details:
Open to anyone in the US or Canada. Must enter before 11:59pm CST on Saturday, April 9 to qualify. Winner will be chosen randomly using
Research Randomizer and announced Sunday. Obviously, anonymous folks can't win unless they leave a name in the comment. P.S. Amazon knows everything I click and hosts my music in their cloud but they don't know the first thing about this blog or this giveaway.

{images: Jamie / Nikon}

4.03.2011

The Post About The Rabbit Recommends v.88

Each week I post a readable or watchable and/or a listenable of which I'm fond. You can choose what happens after my recommendation. Ignore, embrace, debate.

Earlier volumes of The Rabbit Recommends can be found here.

Read
Big Book of Cupcakes CollageWhen I travel, I love to visit cupcakeries (not a real word, but yum all the same.) Only a few compete with my beloved Dreamcakes located here in Birmingham. Since it's rude to recommend something you may never experience firsthand, let me bring Dreamcakes to you.

Dreamcakes Bakery owner, Jan Moon, has just published her first cookbook,Big Book of Cupcakes. Stoked about getting the what-for on my favorites like Peanut Butter Cup and Wedding Cake as well as 148 other delights. And my "aha" moment came when I read she uses almond extract rather than vanilla in many of her frostings. It's as if she has pulled back the curtain on her brilliance. My baking guinea pig coworkers are grateful.

Watch

You know what you've heard about people who love documentaries? Well, those things are all true about me. Let me recommend my most recent favorite: National Geographic's The President's Photographer: 50 Years in the Oval Office. You follow Pete Souza, photographer for Reagan & Obama, and others for a behind-the-scenes look at the everyday grit of the American presidency. In less than an hour, you get wrapped up in the wit and inside scoop of this overwhelming responsibility. Plus, the pictures aren't half bad.

Fascinating tidbits: 
1. Every month, White House photographers take 20,000 to 80,000 digital photos.
2. Every photo goes into the historical record maintained by the National Archives and nothing can be deleted, by law.

Also, check out the White House Flickr to see some of the latest and greatest.

Recommending Disclaimer: I don't suggest anything because I get it free or because I have some sort of illicit relationship with a baker or President of the United States. However, I wouldn't be offended if I got some sort of discount card at either Dreamcakes or the White House.

{Image: Jamie} 
 
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