The Post About How My Muffin Top Ruins Everything

In February, I started running.

And by "running" I mean moving at a mild pace of 4.0 miles per hour. Short legs get no mercy.

I was working on my bucket list task of completing a 5K race. I wasn't thrilled on any level. But I knew if I committed, then I'd feel really bad when I quit. And guilt is a delightful Southern Baptist motivator.

Runner friends assured me I would "love it." Something about endorphins and feeling invincible and burning 1100 calories a mile.

You know what else I've been told I would "love?" Oysters. Sunrises. R. Kelly. Flourless bread. All somewhat overrated.

Five weeks later and running had made no friends here. I would run 10 minutes or 60 minutes or downhill or uphill or in the air conditioning or next to a lake or next to hot guys lifting weights. I never enjoyed a moment of it.

But I was committed. Until this week. 

After seeing my general practitioner for a check-up, we had the following email exchange:

Dr: Did you mention at your appointment that you're running a 5K?

Me: Yep. In 5 weeks.

Dr: I don't think you should run at all until you've lost 25 more pounds. I advise all patients to avoid running when they're overweight because of the impact pressure placed on the joints, particularly the knees. That extra 25 pounds equals 100 pounds of pressure. Your joints will suffer irreparable damage.

Me: Did you just tell me I'm too fat to run?

Dr: Jamie! I would never say that! You're too overweight to run.

I ran that proclamation by a trainer at the gym and she agreed. They both suggested I find lower impact exercises such as walking, aerobics, swimming, biking, or the elliptical to lose weight. 

However, you and I both know that too overweight to run is probably too overweight for a itty bitty bike seat.

{image: Jamie}

Note: I laid on the ground to get the above picture which isn't exactly Christmas morning on the knees. So I'm probably too "overweight" to be a photographer.

The Post About My Top 10 Foods

I've been keeping a food journal in order to determine the outcome of "you are what you eat."

After 6 months of entries, let's review the 10 foods my journal tells me I eat the most.

1. / 2. Coke Zero & Diet Dr. Pepper: Combine the light fizz of a fresh 2 liter and the siren song of caffeine and I'm a loyal patron.

3. One a Day Multivitamin: If you saw my daily entries, then you would notice I'm missing a few things. Like nutrients.

4. Hormel Little Sizzlers: This is where my transparency will likely solicit your harsh judgment. I love sausage. But only this brand which is difficult to locate. Therefore, you and the Publix cashier are kindred spirits in condemnation as she places 5 packages into my canvas bag.

5. 90 Calorie Ice Cream Snickers: Pure heaven. And I try to eat no more than 2 a day.

6. Special K Cinnamon Pecan Cereal: I prefer my cereal with a cartoon character and a brightly colored game on the box, but I recognized the need to balance out all the sausage.

7. DiGiorno 200 Calorie Pizza: I love pizza. But no matter how cheap it is, you shouldn't cook or order one whole pizza if you are eating alone. You might as well clean out a drawer for Satan because you two are shackin' up.

8. Sweet & Salty Nut Granola Bars: Not the lowest in calories for a "snack" but I buy these in bulk - they're that good. Plus, it's granola which is the closest I'm getting to the bottom of the food pyramid.

9. Whole Wheat Pita Bread: My muffin top needs salty chips to survive. I'm weaning her off life support by making homemade pita chips with a spritz of olive oil, freshly ground pepper, and 5 minutes under the broiler. Perfect for salsa, dips, and when your body demands the retention of water.

10. Cheez-its: Ahh...my sweet companion. You may be surprised to find this so far down on the list of a Cheez-it devotee such as myself. However, there are 7 other flavors of this snack cracker seeded in my consumption bracket.

So tell me - what "healthier" snacks or easy foods do you adore? Help a girl out.

Note: I use My Fitness Pal to track food. It's the #1 free healthcare & fitness app on iTunes. It's also available for Android and Blackberry, or you can use the classic website format. I could not recommend it more, plus you can find me and we can be friends there too. My username is JamiesRabbits. Bonus of friending me? You'll know how much weight I've lost since I started.

The Post About My Church's Weirdo Staff

I love my church.

However, let me provide a quick member's commentary on the three ministerial staff who took the stage today.

1. Student Pastor: Joseph Kinnaird.

Yeah, that's what he looks like.

His "homeless-vet-living-under-the-interstate" bit is prompted by raising money for a team to do summer missions in Belize. When they raise all the funds, he'll shave. Good intentions paved the road to animals living on your face. He wrote an excellent blog post all about The Beard.

2. Minister of Worship: Shawn Stinson.

Yeah, that's what he looks like. Although, I don't think he owns a home in Boca Raton.

Shawn said "Peace out" at the end of the closing song today. Most people didn't notice, but I did. I fully expect the next 3 weeks' farewells to be "Holla," "Deuce out the roof," and "Smell you later." Respectively. You can follow Shawn's outbursts at Tales from Street Road.

3. Pastor: Dr. Steve Potts.

He's the one on the right.

Today, Steve was referencing the Alameda County Study which tracked the lives of 7,000 people over 9 years. Researchers found the most isolated people were 3x more likely to die than those with strong relational connections. My PhD pastor summarized the study with this: "It's better to eat Twinkies with friends than eat broccoli alone."

I actually may have "amen'd" that.

So you see - all three are dorks.

Dorks who love God and His people.

And lead us in ways that honor Him at every turn.

{images: Joseph, Shawn, me.}

The Post About a Less Than Font

Transcript of work email regarding an event invitation being sent to prospective participants.

Coworker A to Coworker B: I love that you changed the font on this letter. I'm guessing in response to Jamie's reply that she would not attend the group because the font was in Times New Roman.

My Reply: We all know that Serif fonts incite anarchy.

Learn more about my obsession with fonts.

{image: margolove}

The Post About The Rabbit Recommends v.87

Each week I post a readable or watchable and/or a listenable of which I'm fond. You can choose what happens after my recommendation. Ignore, embrace, debate.

Earlier volumes of The Rabbit Recommends can be found here.

Listen

Adele. She's 22-years-old on the outside, but surely 48 inside. At least when it comes to that voice. I gave her first album 19 3.5 stars but her newest release 21 is an out-of-the-park 5 stars. I guess 2 years of being in a tragic relationship produces some phenomenal music.

This clip is my fav-o-rite Turning Tables.

Might I also suggest the tracks Someone Like You, Set Fire to the Rain and a super duper cover of The Cure's Lovesong.


I've found kindred spirits on this blog in terms of music. Some of you have high fived my suggestions, even those artists with a history with Disney or Matthew Knowles. And some of you have introduced me to even better and brighter picks.

I didn't think I'd like Ping on iTunes, but I'm wrong more often than I care to admit.

Check out my own personal Ping (sounds like a medical diagnosis) for artists and other stuff I adore. It includes 2 of my real-life current playlists.
1. Clean the House: Songs by which to tidy your humble home.
2. Nice and Quiet: When you need to calm thyself.

I wouldn't be angry if you added your own song picks to either of these playlists. I'm always looking for delightful music.

Disclaimer: I don't benefit in any way if you check out Ping or enjoy a few of my song selections. Other than the possible warm fuzzy of being liked.

If iTunes makes you mad or you don't need another social media outlet, please post your favorites right here in the handy comments section.

This is not an Apple-only loading zone.

The Post About Fasting for Lent

My conversation with God on Saturday.
Me: What should I give up for Lent?

God: What do you think you should give up for Lent?

Me: Umm... What about soda?

God: Whatever you think is best.

Me: Well, my struggle really is with caffeine, but giving up caffeine would be crazy hard.

God: Sending my Son to die on the cross was crazy hard.

Me: True. I'm still going with soda.

God: Whatever you think is best.

So that was the plan. No soda for 40 days. However, I'd already concocted my increase in coffee and tea consumption to counter the lack of Diet Dr. Pepper. So much for a challenging fast.

And then I went to church.

Sidebar: If you're trying to sneak in the side door of spiritual obedience, church is probably the last place you should go.

I talked to Sabrina, an adorable teenager who loves God and Law & Order. She is giving up texting for Lent.

Didn't Jesus say something about little children coming to Him? With their smart phones?

I was busted. God had resorted to a 16-year-old girl to serve as my accountability.

My conversation with God on Sunday.
Me: So I think I should give up something more difficult than soda for Lent - like TV. Do You think I can do it?

God: You can do all things through Me.

Me: Yeah, yeah, but seriously...do You think I can do it?

God: We'll see.

I'm on Day 2 and holy moly. No DVR, no Matt Lauer, no Modern Family, no Daily Show.

And I've decided not to break the fast on Sundays. Because I'm crazy. Or obedient.

Or a little of both.

How about you? Are you fasting this Lenten season?

{image: rockcreek}