The Post About Babies Wrapped in Cellophane

Umm...

The Consumerist presents you with 9 more Ironic Ads in History. Who knew sick people would ruin lead paint and asbestos for everyone?

Luckily the toxicity of iPods hasn't been found out yet. Potter my beloved goes to one lucky winner...




Yay for Katrina! (Or "I hate Katrina!" depending on your view of losing.)

{image: Copyranter}

The Post About How Fellowship Halls Rule and Sanctuaries Drool

My church sanctuary is quite lovely.

It has beautiful windows.


And gorgeous handcrafted furniture.


There are classic instruments.


And antiques.


And what happens in that room is prayed over and plotted and planned and executed with much heart and measure.

But there's a room I love infinitely more.

The fellowship hall.

The room itself has sticky floors and bad lighting, but it's what it represents that matters. It's a symbol of the love I experience from those who are a part of the body of Christ. And not just the ones in the building.

What good is a grand stage and stained glass if there's no love?

Author and former Franciscan priest Brennan Manning said "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."

Unbelievable.

Jesus, 1/3 of the band "The Trinity" said "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are My disciples.” John 13:34-35

Love.

{images: Jamie}

The Post About The Pied Piper Aisle of Wal-Mart

The aisle called to me. The freshly stocked shelves that only last a short season.

School supplies.

Even though 10 years have come and gone since I was registered for a class, I still love the smell of paper and binders and procrastination.

I miss it almost enough to enroll in something.

Almost.

I was on the prowl for laundry detergent and cream cheese, but this notebook needed a good home. I love EverNote for Bugs my phone, but there's just something special about writing out a long list on wide-ruled paper with the goal of a dramatic cross-off with a Bic pen.


Manila folders are like running late and discovering the shirt you were going to wear doesn't need to be ironed. Perfection. As an event planner, I live and die by an Every Day Tickler system. You can too. Choose life.


Yes Indy, it's the ark of the covenant. It's not in Nevada. It's on my desk.

So what about you? What school supply makes your heart flutter?

{images: Jamie}

The Post About The Rabbit Recommends v. 28

Each weekend, I post a readable, a watchable, and a listenable of which I'm fond. You can choose what happens next. Earlier volumes can be found here.

Read


I know great people (and that includes you Rabbit Reader) who sometimes have very strong political leanings. And they often want to share them in blog postings, or Facebook statuses, or from a recliner in their living room. And to be honest, I trust very few of these opinions. That's why I rely heavily on FactCheck.org which is nonpartisan and nonprofit (the same probably can't be said for most political commentary.) It's job is to monitor the accuracy of what politicians say. And unfortunately, it's a very big job. I smell some pants on fire, Senator.

Watch


Three times a week, my Tivo delivers the loveliest of packages: How I Met Your Mother. I initially watched this CBS show in hopes that Neil Patrick Harris could make a comeback and he did - he's even hosting this year's Emmys. This show embraces the classic sit-com vibe and gives it a modern twist. It's legen...wait for it...dary. (A few full episodes can be found at Lifetime, which also shows 2 eppy's on Mondays.)

Listen


One of the albums I return to over and over again is Gavin Degraw's Chariot - Stripped. And the "Stripped" is super important as it would be in most circumstances. Degraw never sounds better than when he's naked - musically. This song, Belief, is a tasty musical morsel, if I do recommend so myself.

The Post About Ladybugs and Why They Should Go. Really.

Where were we?

Oh, yeah. The ladybugs were coming.

Some of you probably need special circumstances to fall asleep: white noise from a fan, the comic stylings of Conan O'Brien, or a body pillow with the sharpie face of a Jonas Brother. I need to be on my stomach to drift off to dreamland. The logistics of an arm wrapped in plaster and codependency and the weight of my immobility prevented me from sleeping in such a manner.

So I was relegated to my father's La-Z-Boy for a little over three months.

Winter in Alabama brings with it all types of critters who want to be inside, including ladybugs. Their purpose in life is to migrate to popcorn ceilings and wait for unsuspecting teenagers with broken bones and broken spirits to get sleepy. And then they swoop in for the kill.

The scene plays out every time like you think. Evil ladybug plots her attack. Evil ladybug zeroes in on my face. I try to protect myself. I miss the armrest and find myself tearing up from the pain of a 45lb decoupage appendage swinging in the breeze of my failed defense.

Pavlov's Dogs = Ladybugs' Jamie.

Is that enough to hate them? Yes

Enough to be scared so silly you must run from your office arms-a-flailing when one appears on the window sill? Probably not.

But wait.

Eight days after having the bane of my existence sawed off my arm, I was writing a paper at the dining room table. Ladybugs appeared. I decided my victimization was over. I rolled up the previous month's Better Homes and Gardens, climbed on top of the table and began to fight. My surge was showing success as one by one, those monsters began to fly out the open door.

But then I was down and in pain. Was I hit? Was I attacked from my weak right side?

No.

Without warning, I had walked off the dining room table and subsequently broken my foot.

That break took six weeks to heal.

My phobia of ladybugs has yet to do so.

{Images: Jamie - items friends have purchased for me or made for me in order to mock me}

The Post About Ladybugs and Why They Should Go

Tell you more about me? Well...

I hate ladybugs. I love God.

Let's talk about the former.

When I was 15, I broke my arm. I was walking down the hall at school on Black-n-Gold day and tripped down the stairs. Like a ninja, I should have tucked and rolled, but I stuck out my arms and tried to brace. My forearm snapped. "Snapped" as in my right hand was now taking up residence at my shoulder - when my arm was extended.

Good news? No blood or pain.

Bad news? My black and gold houndstooth pants were ripped at the knee.

Worst news? I was wearing black and gold houndstooth pants.

The vice-principal rushed me to the office where they could administer first aid. This consisted of a rolled up Sports Illustrated attached to my arm with rubber bands. Of course, they couldn't execute that master medical plan with me wearing my jacket. So they moved to cut it off. Except this was no ordinary coat. It was a vintage 1991 brown weathered leather jacket that brought all the boys to the yard. So no. We were not cutting it off. I simply reached over, moved my right hand back to where it was before the break, and slipped off the treasure.

My mother arrived promptly and thought she was well suited to drive me to the emergency room (40 minutes away). This choice was informed by her immense love for me and her immense confidence in our green Chevy Chevelle.

Upon arrival at the hospital, I was bippity boppity booped into a backless gown and left in an adjustable bed in the middle of the ER hallway. After 45 minutes of waiting for an X-ray, the alarm sounded. Not fire, not security, not even a clock. It was a chemical spill practice drill required of the facility every year. This prolonged my awkward center stageness for another hour.

A surgical reset of my radius and ulna. A cast that reached from thumb to shoulder. No writing legibly for 15 weeks. An orthopedic surgeon who admitted to being a few centimeters off in the previously mentioned reset.

And the worst was yet to come.

The ladybugs were coming.

==Continued Here==

The Post About How to Be the Nicest Sister Ever

I'm sick. And I'm hungry.

I keep trying to eat, but my small intestine inspects the Pringles and then stamps "REJECTED" on the sample. I tried both Ranch and Onion Blossom thinking one might be superior to the other.

I thought wrong.

This is punishment for the phenomenal lunch I inhaled yesterday at my parents' house. Have I mentioned my Mom nurtures with food? Well, she does. And she is extremely loving.

While I was there, my 6-year-old niece shared the secret to being a good sister:

I'm guessing Lily can't talk because of the huge trauma to the back of her head now covered in nail polish. Katelynne says it was an "accident." I'm sure.

Now back to reclining and watching 6 consecutive hours of Apollo 11 coverage.

P.S. I've decided to become an astronaut.

The Post About The Rabbit Recommends v.27

Each weekend, I post a readable, a watchable, and a listenable of which I'm fond. You can choose what happens next. Earlier volumes can be found here.

Since you can't go back (according to the laws of physics and The Weepies), this week I'll recommend what I'm looking forward to in the coming weeks. They're all destined to be great. Maybe.

Read

I generally don't like suspense. I like to know where the next paycheck is coming from and if my pants are going to fit after eating cheesy bread. But author Ted Dekker is one of my rare "whatsgoingtohappen" exceptions. As the son of missionaries to headhunter tribes in Indonesia, his imagination is unique. Green, available on September 1, is the prequel and the final book in the Books of History Chronicles. You can also purchase the other three books in the series without the wait.

Watch

The first book I ever highlighted in The Rabbit Recommends was The Time Traveler's Wife. This is one of my top ten reads of all time. It makes my brain hurt and celebrate all under one book light. The film adaptation is sure to fall slightly south of my expectations, but Eric Bana and my fave mean girl, Rachel McAdams, give me hope. Releases August 14.

Listen

Don't be ashamed. If you like a 19-year-old American Idol winner who is too tall for her own good, then admit it. That's what I'm telling myself. Her new album, Battlefield, is an absolute guilty pleasure which kept me moving on the treadmill - a respectable feat. I have provided her second single, SOS (with a fun trip down memory lane sampling from Shannon's Let The Music Play.) Releases July 21.

So what are you looking forward to? If you tell me, then maybe I can look forward to it too.

The Post About The Beach Family Photo and Why It's Wrong

I try to keep Jamie's Rabbits fenced up and separated from topics that would possibly bite. If you're ever jonesing for controversy, I'm probably not the dealer of choice. Unless my preference for peep toed shoes over children strikes a nerve.

Unfortunately, my feelings about this issue are too strong. I cannot still my fingers from typing out this diatribe.

PLEASE STOP TAKING FAMILY PHOTOS AT THE BEACH IN MATCHING OUTFITS.

Pretty Please?

Here's the thing. If you wouldn't wear these clothes out together to get dinner or see a movie, then why would you wear it for a forever photo?


Plus, let's talk about jeans at the beach. Who does that without the photographer present? Umm...the homeless.


But if you're going to do it, don't let the kid tantrum you into letting him wear his logo hoodie and ruin it even further.


And don't think you can tint the photograph and that make it artistic and moving.

Sephia + Beach Uniform = Conformity


And since we're already in the ditch on this one, surely only a mother could possibly love her child's back and calves and elbow flap enough to covet this picture. When you force your coworkers to view these attempts at artistry, they only coo out of kindness. Or because they're thinking about how much they love their own child's heels and triceps and will be photographing them later that day on the back porch.


This is a good beach photo. Adorable children doing what you actually do at the beach in clothes that are appropriate. And I'm not just saying this because I'm legally obligated to them ("hi boys" from your fairy godmother!)

However, if your heart is still set on all I have judged (and who I am to judge anyway?)

Please accept this broken fence and sandgrass as a small token of my apology. It waits for you.

The Post About The Pressure Put on My Sunglasses

My sunglasses are broken.

Is it because they are so divine that a complete stranger tried to snatch them off my head in a fury of jealousy? No.

Is it because when I was mountain biking and took the 8th jump in a row, the impact was so violent that they flew off, although I maintained control of my Cannondale bicycle? Umm...no.

It's because of this.

One of the numbers you see is the circumference of my head. And it's not 12.

My head broke my sunglasses.

You've already heard me rant about the size of my noggin. Well, it's impacted my life yet again. The pressure was simply too much and so in an attempt to put them on one-handed, they snapped.

So these are my new sunglasses.

They're cute, but currently leave an indention on either side of my face. They'll need to stretch if they want to stick around.

The Post About What Your Workspace Says About You

Recently, I was part of a team who hired for a new position at my agency. One of the prospects mentioned in an interview that you can tell a lot about a person by the appearance of his or her office.

Let's see if that's true.

I really love my name due to its bionic nature. But you rabbit readers already knew that.


My Mom rocks in many ways, but this is her superpower - quilting. When I started this job almost three years ago, she made a lil' officewarming gift comprised of shirts from previous jobs. I'm attracted to 50/50 preshrunk cotton careers.


This is my third place of employment with a candy stash. This benefit ranks up there with a 401(k) and a covered parking place.


That smaller frame cost a LOT less, but says MUCH more.


I'm committed to my name, but I'm seeing the letter "J" on the side.


Why should I include pictures of my friends and family when they will never be as attractive as this couple?


There is still a girlie place in my heart for Mary Englebreit. Plus, this isn't a shabby work ethic.


This pillowcase is a souvenir from the camp I direct serving adoptive families. It's never bad to have some positive affirmations on the wall above your screeching email inbox.

So what would your workspace tell me about you?

{images: Jamie}

The Post About God Bowls and Godson Does Party Tricks

I once heard if you count the seconds between lightning and thunder, you can discover how long it will take for the 100-year old tree to fall on your house and pin you to your duvet. Is that right?

I tried that last night in an attempt to lull myself back to sleep in the storm. I learned that counting seconds instead of sheep is not soothing in the least.

So to perk up my drowsy morning, I took a gander at this*:




I immediately smiled.

And ovulated.

{*video: Jamie, who apologizes for the pronunciation of the word "surprise." She was sittin' near a Magnolia tree and sippin' sweet tea during filming}

The Post About The Rabbit Recommends v.26

Each weekend, I post a readable, a watchable, and a listenable of which I'm fond. You can choose what happens next. Earlier volumes can be found here.

Read

I do have a day job which doesn't wrap itself around the search for the perfect cupcake or blog post title or cutesie use of the word "rabbit." However my online life often influences and provides great content for my professional life. This surely includes the blog of Michael Hyatt. He's the CEO of Thomas Nelson, which is one of the largest publishing companies in the world. He has a phenomenal blog that includes fairly brilliant thoughts on life balance, social media, leadership and even fitness tips (which I may not linger on in my RSS feed...) My favorite post right now is How to Shave Ten Hours Off Your Work Week. I'm trying.

Watch

This may be my favorite movie of all time...at least top 5. I thought it might fall off the list when David Duchovny filmed a 2nd X-Files movie or admitted to a sex addiction, but it didn't. I just love it. I always cry and I always laugh. One reason it's beloved is my best friend and her husband are played out in this movie by Bonnie Hunt and James Belushi. Another is I'm looking for a serendipitous love story of my own (minus the heart condition.) Bonus? You'll want to fly to Chicago immediately after the credits.

Listen

I admit it yet again. I love folk-pop. And iTunes knows it, with it's geniusy recommendations that make me drop dollar after dollar. Curse you Steve Jobs and your manipulation! A Fine Frenzy is just that - fine. And not in a 6-pack-ab-Pattinson-hair kind of way. More like wake-up-and-realize-you-still-have-an-hour-until-the-alarm kind of way. Fine. This song, Near to You, is beyond lovely.

The Post About Three Things I Think Are The Best

A few things I consider uber-fabulous:

1. The Cheese Nugget. The one at the bottom of the Dorito or Cheese Puff bag. Deyummy.

2. A Memorized Remote. I love that I don't have to look at the source of my codependency to work it.

3. Sizing at The Gap. I can wear a whole size smaller without a water pill or lying down in the dressing room. Go Gap.

Speaking of The Gap.

The Rabbit Winner of the $25 giftcard good at Old Navy, The Gap, or Nana Public is...



Congrats to The Sextons!!! Check your email for details...

For all of you who listed a love for flip flops in the Summer - just remember... It's important to keep those toes nice and shiny. No calluses. No in-between gunk. No lengthy toenails.

And no toe hair.

I appreciate your compliance.

The Post About Kate Spade Wiener

We have a Rabbit Winner of some snazzy Kate Spade stationery...


Congrats to TJ and Amy! Check your email for details...

And to the losers other rabbit readers, consider dropping a line to family members you love or to the ones you've lost touch with or to someone you secretly admire or to your mortgage company asking them to erase your debt.

What's the worst that could happen?

The Post About Late to the Firefox Party

Me: Hi. My name is Jamie and I've been using Internet Explorer since 1998.

Support Group: Hi, Jamie.

Perhaps you are like me and when the charming, but oddly tanned UPS guy delivers a computer to your door, you crack open the box and work with what the Microsoft gods gave you.

Who knew you and I could lay down some of the chains Bill Gates has wrapped around our carpel tunnel syndromey hands?

Internet Explorer. You are dead to me. Rest in Peace.

Let me introduce you to Firefox.

Grace, my laptop, loves you. Jamie's Rabbits, my free time absorber, loves you. Your chromosomally challenged stepsister Vista loves you even more than her own blood.

Welcome to the family.

So should you - Rabbit Reader - switch? Yep.Quick laundry list of why...

• Faster
• Safer
• Easier
• Less Annoying
• Free
• PLUS - you can import all your favorite bookmarks, history, saved passwords with one click.

I suggest you break the chains that bind you if you're still under the spell of the-browser-who-shall-not-be-named. Come towards the light.

If you've already kicked the habit or never smoked that crazy stuff in the first place, consider commenting below and sharing why others should make the switch. And feel free to recommend other browsers as well. Or disagree with me if so inclined.

I am not a paid spokesrabbit for Mozilla, the nonprofit maker of Firefox. I'm just your friend staging an A& E intervention.

The Post About Writing, Reading, and Zombies

As you learned yesterday, I'm never without a place to write down tasks:

It's quite handy.

What? This is comedy.

One of the things I recently jotted down was a wishlist of books since ten of my faves would be movin' on up to someone else's home. (More on that in a second.)

Here are a couple of great resources I used to compile that list:
Caitlin from commonreaders runs a crazy great blog full of bibliotic things. We are both Emory alumni (she's not snooty Emory like "some" people) and we both like to make lists. She's the reason I'm waiting for this book to arrive:

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I'm confident it will make the Rabbit Recommends cut.

commonreaders led me to this fabulous place as well:

Q: Wasn't Oprah great in The Color Purple? A: She was.

And no one can deny Ms. Winfrey has done A LOT for the life of reading in our country. On her website, she's posted a list of "25 Books You Can't Put Down." I've ordered the following:



Columbine by Dave Cullen. Read the first chapter.


Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith. Read the first chapter. See some psycho illustrations.

Now for the winner of my lil' blogiversary contest, 10 of my favorite books will now be at home with...

Jamie.

What? This is a coincidence.

But some of you might consider a name change since the stars seem to shine on the Bionic women of the world.

The Post About Ten {iNames} on Tuesday

I was knocked out by the number of folks who put their creative hats on and made themselves vulnerable to my random and uneducated judging process. That process included me reviewing each name (without looking at the provider of said name) and then choosing with my girlie gut.

Let's talk about what you suggested as titles for my new iPhone: (with a bit of bonus commentary)

Honorable Mentions

• "Ima" Rabbit
• Max, Bob, Magnus
• Baby (this was good since you can't put baby in a corner)
• BOB: Battery Operated Boyfriend (Umm...this makes me feel like I've done something illicit)
• Bosco
• Butch
• Deetle
• Ears-Z (I like the urban feel)
• Edward (2x)
• Eian
• Elvis
• Esmerelda: Ez for short
• Harriet
• Hercules
• Honey
• Iggy (4x)
• iHeart (I do. I heart the iPhone)
• Ineze
• Ingrid: I'm Now Getting Romantic Invitations Daily (If only this were true...)
• iPoo (I do. As do you. The phone does not)
• Isabella
• iSis
• Ivan (6x)
• Lisa
• Louise
• Malcolm
• Master (This may actually be the case)
• Miles
• Penelope
• Penny (2x)
• Philipe (Ahhh...croissants and beignets)
• Phyllis / Phyllie
• Ringer
• Ringo
• Spot (A faithful iPhone he would be)
• Stanley
• Susie
• The Hopping Rabbit
• The-Only-One-Who-Really-Loves-Me (Good morning self-esteem. Where ya goin'?)
• Truthy
• Zaphod

Top Ten (in no particular order)

• Inglebert
• Bugs
• Shaggy (Mr. Boombastic)
• Rocco
• Henry
• Isaac Edward
• Stanislaus Von Vladimir
• Marco
• Izzy
• Phineas

And the winner is...



I chose this one because it was a great reminder of how much I love my lil' Rabbit blog. You should absolutely visit Meredith's own blog Never a Dull Moment. And not just because she's a winner.

And the random winner is...

Congrats to BunnyB for winning the bonus iTunes moolah!

Don't forget! You have until the end of today to enter to win 10 of my favorite books!