I need a roof. Actually, I already own THREE roofs (rooves? no.) Apparently none of those are adequate, so I need to get rid of all them and try yet another. Since this sassy new roof will run me about $6,000-8,000, I decided to handle this dilemma like any other:
Me: Hi. It's me. You're great. Love you long time.
God: Right back at you sweetheart.
Me: Listen. I need a new roof.
God: I know.
Me: Of course. I was thinking it would be great if you could work it out so a straight line wind from a wandering tornado could hit the front tree in my yard which could then lightly fall on my house. No damage to the inside of my home, but just enough chaos to file a claim for a new roof. Therefore, only costing me $500 in a deductible. Then, I could be a better steward of Your money. What do You think? P.S. I would want no other thing or person hurt in this manipulated weather.
God: You are not the sharpest crayon I ever created.
Me: So that's a "no?"
God: Yep.
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